It's The Simple Things In Life I Enjoy

I think this is why so many people tell me: “God, you’re a simpleton.”

BILL

The Whisper Game, A Childhood Memory

In second grade, we whispered a phrase from student to student to see how it would change from beginning to end.  Chas Marwick whispered into my ear: “The giraffe was eating leaves from the top of the tree.”

I then whispered into Kimberly Johnson’s ear:  “I am so in love with you.”

By the time it got to the end, the phrase was: “Crazy Billy Bekkala says he’s in love with me.”

BILL

Well, Herman Cain, You're Right About One Thing:

If you can’t get the job you’re looking for, it’s your fault.

BILL

A Veterans Day Memory

Many of you don’t know this but I lost my Grandpa Willie at Normandy.  The senile old coot was staggering about the crosses and soon enough got himself so disoriented I lost him.  Me?  I was pretty hammered at the time so I guess it was as much my fault as his.  Story has a happy ending though.  With the help of a surprisingly helpful and very pretty young French woman I eventually found him.  An hour after she left though I noticed my wallet was gone.  Oh well.  Viva La France….

BILL

In My Ongoing Effort to Spend Eternity in Hell

I think it would be altogether fitting if “Smokin’ Joe” Frazier were cremated.

BILL

1964: Picking My Nails & Talking (Nothing's Changed....)

Insert Andy Rooney Voice Here:

“Did you ever notice how Jerry Seinfeld’s entire routine sounds like he’s ripping me off?”

BILL

(Seriously, Rooney will announce on this Sunday's "60 Minutes" that it will be his last appearance on the broadcast on which he has been featured since 1978.)